


When Jinyoung...

by shownult



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Fluff, Happy Ending, Happy Valentines Day!, Homophobia, JAEBUM IS AN ASSHOLE, Light Angst, M/M, SO IS JINYOUNGS MOM AND HIS CLASSMATES, Slice of Life, Smut, Some Humor, Top Park Jinyoung | Jr., laps lock, sensitive jinyoung, slight non-con!!! be safe and dont read if u might be triggered
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-18 17:15:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13686171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shownult/pseuds/shownult
Summary: When Jinyoung was 24, he fell in love for the first time.





	When Jinyoung...

**Author's Note:**

> The grammar of this is terrible but i dont feel like fixing it sorry BUT I PROMISE ITS GOOD. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

jinyoung realized he was gay in elementary school. he had a crush on one of the boys in his class. all the girls asked out their crushes, so why couldn’t he? unfortunately, no one had taught him about what the word “gay” even was. it was like a taboo. but it was just a crush, right? it was normal to have crushes on guys. that’s what his seven year old conscious told himself. so when his crush called him gross and threw the bracelet that jinyoung had made him in the trash, he was confused. he was confused and hurt. when he got home from school he cried. his mother held him and asked what was wrong over and over again, but he didnt answer. when he finally calmed down, he asked his mom, “why can’t i ask out another boy?” his mom frowned and gave a sympathetic smile. “it’s okay baby, you don’t actually want to date a boy. boys date girls, not boys.” to a kid, it was hard to grasp the idea. why did everyone only date the opposite gender? was there something wrong with him?

when he was in eighth grade, he asked a boy out again. for the past few years, adults had told him it was wrong, but he still hadn’t understood why. so of course he went to the internet. so he went straight to google and started searching. he found a forum on a website called ‘lgbtspot’, and he read through some of the posts. they were all about guys liking other guys and girls liking other girls. it felt really good to see that he wasn’t an outcast. at that point, he knew he was gay. and he assumed his crush was too. they held hands, cuddled, and they even kissed eachothers cheeks sometimes. but when jinyoung had dropped the word ‘boyfriend’, the other boy’s eyes widened. “i’m not your boyfriend!” he said sharply. jinyoung was about to say something before he was slapped across the face. hard. he heard footsteps quickly stomp out of the room. he held his cheek and cried. when he got home from school, he cried again. his mom comforted him again. but this time, he didn’t tell her what had happened. for the first time in his life, he was scared that his own mother would hit him.

when he was in high school, he watched gay porn for the first time. at this point, he had accepted the term ‘gay’. he didn’t use it in a negative way (despite how kids at school did), but just as a descriptive word. because he was gay, he liked boys. his friends talked about porn a lot, but jinyoung didn’t see the point. of course, he wore his usual ‘normal’ facade and acted like he watched videos of girls sucking dick, but the thought made him sick. he tried watching it one day, and it was just as uncomfortable as he had imagined. the acting was terrible and it wasn’t romantic in the slightest. isnt that the point of sex? to be romantic? even if the video was about the girl, he couldn’t take his eyes off the guy having sex with her. he had toned legs and a big dick that made jinyoung hiccup a little. he went to the search bar. and thats how he found gay porn. this time, instead of being uncomfortable, he could feel his heart beat faster and the stiffness in his pants. that night, he got off to the thought of another guy sucking his dick. 

in his second year of college, he had gay sex for the first time. he went to school in california, majoring in acting and minoring in philosophy. a lot had changed since high school. the college campus was a lot more accepting of diversity compared to his hometown. there were people of all ethnicities, backgrounds, and identities. he had only been to america once before, because his high school paued for them to take a week long trip in order to apply our english skills. he also found himself being dragged to parties a lot by his boisterous friends. he had a few sexual encounters. he gave and received handjobs from multiple guys. but he always hated how he felt afterwards. it wasn’t that he wasn’t attracted to the guys, because he definitely was. but there was something missing that he couldn’t figure out. one particular night, he found himself in his dorm room, sprawled out on his bed, making out with some guy named jaebum that he had met an hour ago. when they both were naked, jaebum asked him where the lube was. 

“i only have vaseline...top drawer,” he said.

“condoms?”

“check my roommates drawers,” he said pointing across the room. 

when jaebum turned his back he could feel himself starting to panic. jaebum was obviously experienced, and he didn’t want to embarrass himself or mess anything up by saying he was a virgin. but he also didn’t want jaebum to hurt him or anything. he settled on just staying silent and letting things happen. 

when jaebum prepped him, he wasn’t careful. but he assumed that was his fault for not saying anything. but he endured it, even though it hurt. but it didnt get any better once jaebum had put the condom on and entered him. if anything it was worse. he tried to keep quiet, but he ended up mewling gently into the pillow he was being pressed into. jaebum probably took it as a sign of pleasure and went harder and faster. jinyoung felt the most regret he ever had in his entire life. why was he letting this random guy take his virginity? he started crying softly into the pillow, but jaebum couldn’t see. he couldnt hear him either, over the sound of his own grunting and panting. jaebum said something about his ass being so tight before pulling out and coming into the condom. he stood up and threw it away, before returning to the bed. he grabbed some tissues and went to clean jinyoung up, but when he saw that jinyoung hadn’t orgasmed, he panicked. 

“oh my god, i’m so sorry, did i do something wrong? do you want me t-“

“it’s okay, it’s fine,” jinyoung said. he was lying. it wasn’t okay nor was it fine.”

he heard jaebum sigh and put his clothes back on. 

“i’ll see you around,” is the last thing jaebum said before leaving.

that night, jinyoung cried just like he had all those times before. he felt filthy and terrible and everything hurt. he told himself that was the last time he’d have any hook ups for the rest of his college years.

the next day, he didn’t go to any of his classes. he simply sat on a couch in the common room and brought his computer out to attempt to get some work done (he didnt). he ended up crying again, this time on the phone with his best friend from back home, youngjae. his ass still hurt and he could still feel the strong grip jaebum had on his hips.

he cried to youngjae for fifteen minutes before the younger had to go, because unlike jinyoung, he actually had motivation to get things done like a normal functioning adult. just as he was and hung up. a skinny boy with peachy blonde hair had walked up and sat down on one of the chairs accompanying the couch jinyoung couldn’t being him self to get up from. 

“you speak korean?” the boy said in english. jinyoung was silent for a moment. “i heard you on the phone talking about some guy, he sounds like an asshole.”

“yeah, he really is.” jinyoung replies in his mother language.

“im mark tuan, i study literature.” he said with a big smile. jinyoung found him endearing.

“park jinyoung,” he responded, sniffling his nose and reaching out his hand for the other to shake. but instead, the small boy walked over and threw his arms around jinyoung. he felt so warm and he smelled life fresh laundry. there was something about being hughed that just made him let out a few more broken sobs. the stranger rubbed his back the whole time and whispered “it’s okay”, in korean over and over. it felt so fucking good.

“thank you” jinyoung said, releasing the boy from the hug.

“anytime,” he said with the big smile he had shown before. jinyoung really felt himself warming up to the cute boy. 

“hold on,” mark said, looking in his bag and pulling out a random piece of paper and a pen. he watched as the boy wrote his number down. “text me when you get the chance, i promise im not like that dickhead.” he said with a laugh that literally warmed jinyoungs whole body. 

once the boy was gone, jinyoung felt the urge to just be in bed, wrapped up in his blankets. he packed up his stuff and walked out of the main building, only to realize that it was raining. he didn’t have a hood or an umbrella and there wasn’t a shortcut or anything to his dorms, but luckily the rain wasn’t too heavy yet, so he just walked quickly across the campus. 

when he got home he took off his wet shirt and replaced it with a dry one, and then doing the same with his jeans. once he was in a pair of sweatpants and a not drenched shirt, he let every single one of his muscles relax and fell onto the bed. before he knew it, he was asleep and dreaming of the strawberry blonde boy with the cute baby giggle.

but the next morning when he woke up and fished the paper with his number out of his jeans, it had gotten just as wet as the jeans, and the ink had ran all over the page. he tried to make out what was written, but the numbers were completely illegible. jinyoung felt his heart sink. there he was thinking he could have a sweet friend who he could speak korean with, but i guess god had other plans.

 

-

 

today was his 24th birthday and his first birthday after graduating college. his friend youngjae had flown out to california to surprise jinyoung, and his friends took him to an arcade restaurant. jinyoung was really happy, he had all his favorite people here. youngjae, jackson, bambam and taehyung were all there to have fun and he didn’t have anything to worry about. he could have a smooth, easy night and have some fun too. 

they only spent an hour playing games and getting prizes before they all settled down at the bar to eat and chat. they all got drinks and some bar food, all insisting that they will pay for mark. two cocktails, five chicken tenders, and a few handfuls of fries later, and they were all stuffed. jinyoung was pretty good with alcohol but he felt pretty tipsy and loose at that point. 

“jinyoung? park jinyoung?” he heard someone call from his right side. when he looked over, it took him a few seconds to realize who the man was. 

“mark tuan?” he heard himself say.

“that’s my name, don’t wear it out.” mark said, and for the first time in three years, he heard that cute giggle again. “im surprised you remember me.” he said.

“yeah, i actually really wanted to get to know you but i lost your number right after you gave it to me.”

“classy,” mark said with the big smile the jinyoung loved so much. he wasn’t drunk enough to he unaware of what he was doing, but he found himself being bold anyways.

“you’re really fucking cute mark. like...your smile is so contagious and your laugh is the most precious noise on earth and your face, god, your face. you’re so gorgeous.” he said, and mark blushed.

“what if i said i was having the same thoughts about you?” he said with a smirk. 

he knew he shouldn’t have let the the boy get underneath his skin, but he felt so attracted to mark. he hadn’t kissed anyone since the night of his first time. yeah it was probably pathetic, but he was too scared. except mark made him feel like he had never been scared in his entire life. he felt so safe. and before he could stop and think about what he was doing, he grabbed marks chin and pulled him in for a kiss. it was slow and languid and he could feel the shorther boy’s hands on the back of his head, playing with the hair underneath his fingertips. he heard mark sigh with a pitch that was a lot higher than his normal voice, and that’s when he knew he was done for. his hands moved down his body until his hands were resting on his slim thighs. he didn’t even realize that they had somehow made it to the bathroom without even separating, but then he was being pushed into a stall and mark dropped to his knees, reaching for his belt and taking it off quickly. but when jinyoungs pants were pulled down and he felt someone else’s hands touching his dick for the first time since the incident, he suddenly started to feel sick. 

“stop!” he yelled a bit too loud. but thankfully mark completely removed himself from jinyoung and just looked at him with concern.

“what’s wrong?”

that is a good question, what /was/ wrong? he was attracted to mark, the boy was clearly kind, he hadn’t had sex in years. so why the fuck is this so hard. jinyoung felt like his brain was punching itself and didn’t realize he was crying until he felt mark wiping tears from his cheeks. he hugged the boy just like he did when they first met. he whispered “its okay,” into his ear just like he did when they first met. he felt warm and comfortable just like he did when they first met.

“im sorry, im so fucking sorry,” he cried.

“what do you have to apologize for?”

“i’m sorry i cant have sex with you, i want to but...i cant. im just having flashbacks to that bad time. you heard about it when we first met. i still haven’t recovered. im such a fuck up, im so sorry.”

“no, i completely understand, you’re fine.” the shorter boy said, holding jinyoungs fave inbetween his hands.

“i feel so disgusting,” he sobbed. suddenly he let go of mark and bent over, all of the alcohol and food he had consumed being rejected by his anxious body as he threw up into the public toilet. he would’ve felt even more disgusting if it wasn’t for marks big hands rubbing his back and comforting him. 

after that, jinyoung felt empty. he just wanted to go home. and as if mark could read his mind he said, “do you wanna go back to your place with me?”

“yes,” he replied quickly “wait, no, dont come with me. i cant give you what you want.”

“what i want right now is to walk you home, tuck you into your bed, and cuddle you because you’re cute and warm.”

jinyoung paused for a second. “that’s okay with me.” he said.

so they got a cab together, drove back to jinyoung’s apartment, and mark helped him walk up the stairs due to his still weak body. when they made it to his room, mark did exactly what he said. he didn’t try to initiate anything. he just covered jinyoung with blankets and got underneath them as well to cling onto jinyoung and give him kisses on his shoulders and chest. jinyoung quite enjoyed mark’s way of cuddling, and let himself fall asleep to the feeling of long limbs wrapped around his body.

when he woke up the next morning, the first thing he realized was that he was wearing jeans and a cardigan. he sat up, putting on his glasses and grabbing his phone to check his notifications. 

(14 missed calls)  
(47 unread messages)

Jackson:  
WHERE ARE YOU WTF  
WE ARE ALL WORRIED SICK

Bambam:  
did u go home with that guy 

Youngjae:  
MARK   
WHERE ARE YOU  
I SAID  
WHERE ARE YOU  
ANSWER YOUR PHONE YOU BITCH

Taehyung:   
AAAHHHHHHHHHHH  
AAAHAHHHHAHHHHH  
AHAHHHHHHHAHHHHHH  
AHHHHHH  
AHHHHHSHHH  
answer me

as he woke up more he began to remember the night before. mark wasn’t here anymore, it all kind of felt like a dream. but when he walked out of his room. mark was sitting at his kitchen table, eating strawberries and looking at his phone.

“good morning!” he said cheerfully when he saw jinyoung.

“you’re still here?”

“of course! i can make you some breakfast, what do you like.”

jinyoung smiled “just some toast,” he said. “you dont need to do anything for me”

“but i want to,” the smaller boy smiled.

“why are you a literal angel?” jinyoung said, not being able to take his eyes off the boy who was now standing at the toaster. the iconic giggle came and went right to jinyoungs heart.

a few minutes later, he gave jinyoung a plate with toast and strawberries on it. jinyoung immediately started eating, his stomach still empty from the previous night. 

“you look cute in those glasses,” mark said with a face of admiration. 

“you look cute all of the time,” jinyoung said, feeling his eyes crinkle up as his smiled. and when he kissed mark, it tasted like mint and fresh strawberries.

 

-

 

when jinyoung was 24, he got his first boyfriend. he thought that being in a relationship for the first time would be hard because he wouldn’t know what to do, but everything came naturally with mark. he felt like his lips were made for kissing him, his hands were made for touching him, and his eyes were made to look at him, only him. mark tuan was nothing short of the sweetest, most caring boyfriend ever. to be fair, jinyoung didn’t have anyone to compare him to. but he had seen other people’s relationships, and he still felt like mark was the perfect partner. 

 

when jinyoung was 25, him and mark were harassed for the first time. they had heen at a bus stop together. they were holding hands and talking, but once jinyoung leaned in and kissed him, one guy felt the sudden need to voice his opinion. 

“what you’re doing is disgusting and unnatural. you two are a disgrace to this whole fucking country.” the tall man spat.

“why does how we choose to live our lives affect you?” jinyoung said calmly.

“because you’re rubbing it in our faces, go kiss eachother in private. no one wants to see two guys kissing.”

“why are boyfriends allowed to kiss their girlfriends in public then, i don’t see a difference”

“because we aren’t freaks like you.”

“ILL HAVE YOU KN-“

“JINYOUNG, calm down.” mark yelled, dragging him away from the situation.

“i cannot believe the fucking nerve of that guy. i swear if it weren’t for the laws of this country i would’ve murd-“

“park jinyoung, listen to me” mark said, grabbing jinyoungs cheeks and forcing him to lock eyes with him. “i know that it sucks. it’s terrible and we shouldn’t have to deal with it, but we do. so we should be the bigger person and just not start anything, okay?” 

jinyoung let out a deep breath before nodding. mark smiled and kissed him again, this time with no one to stop them.

 

when jinyoung was 25, he made love for the first time. it was valentine’s day and he had taken mark out to an expensive chinese restaurant. they didn’t dress formally though, mark wearing a sweater that was probably two or three sizes too big for him, and tight ripped jeans. he looked like a complete fucking meal. he also made a show of seductively eating his food and making less than appropriate noises when he ate. 

“i know what you’re doing,” jinyoung said as they were finishing up.

“hm?” mark said, obviously teasing.

“you look so good. i would bend you over the table and fuck you right now if i could.” jinyoung said. he figured he should have some fun with this too. 

when the waiter came with the check, jinyoung purposefully dropped his credit card. 

“oops!” he said, bending over to pick it up. but as he stood up again, he dragged his fingers up marks leg until just after his thigh before sitting back down. marks eyes were closed and the grip he had on his chopsticks tightened. 

on the cab ride back to jinyoungs apartment, they both were quiet and didn’t touch at all. but as soon as they were alone, jinyoung pushed him up against the wall and they were touching eachother everywhere the could reach. 

“i wanna fuck you so hard,” jinyoung said with a deeper voice than normal. 

“do it then,” mark sighed, and jinyoung picked him up by his thighs and carried him to the bedroom.

but jinyoung couldn’t bring himself to be rough with mark yet. one day he would, but right now he wants to treat mark how he wishes he has been treated when he had his first time. he helped mark out of his clothes and teased him just enough. he prepped him thoroughly and asked him how he was doing with every thirty seconds that passed. and when he finally pushed in, he had one hand on his hip and the other intertwined with mark’s, next to his head. he didn’t let go of mark’s hand until the just before mark came. he then gripped his hips with both hands and focused on fucking into mark perfectly, hitting his prostate and making sure that he was enjoying it. but he didn’t need to ask much because mark was very vocal. he loved the sounds mark made, the way he whined and moaned and panted, as well as how he sounded when he said jinyoung’s name. he fucked mark through his orgasm, the tinier boy moaning loudly through the last few seconds. and as might tightened around him, he felt himself being pushed over the edge too, releasing inside of mark. he immediately fell forward into marks chest and kissed him sweetly.

“was it good?” jinyoung asked.

“more than good,” mark responded, and he couldn’t see him, but he knew mark was wearing his bright smile that jinyoung loved so much.

“i love you.”

“i love you too.”

 

when jinyoung was 26, they moved in together. well, technically mark moved in with jinyoung because it was jinyoungs apartment, but they were officially living together. jinyoung loved waking up beside mark, and now he got to experience it everyday. and it never did get old.

 

when jinyoung was 26, he proposed to mark. he had even gotten mark’s parents’ blessing. he didn’t do anything extravagant, but he took him to the same arcade restaurant that he went to on his birthday, and when they got home, jinyoung sat him down and told him how much he loved him, mark getting flustered and smiling the whole time. and at the end, he got on one knee and pull a ring out of his pocket. marks eyes widened and jinyoung swears he had never seen someone tear up so fast. and of course, mark said yes.

 

when jinyoung was 27 and mark was 28, they got married. it was a small ceremony but their suits were beautiful and the reception had a dance floor and so much food, jinyoung swears he could eat all of it if mark wasn’t there to stop him. but they sat down and ate as everyone gave their speeches. jackson didn’t forget to mention that he met mark for the first time at a bar and two seconds later he was making out with jinyoung. youngjae started crying during his speech, talking about growing up with jinyoung and causing him to tear up as well. when some of mark’s friends spoke in english, jinyoung was a bit rusty and couldn’t understand everything they said but he held mark’s hand tight and wiped his tears for him. jinyoung’s parents didn’t come, something he had accepted once they found out he was marrying a man. but mark’s parents were both there and jinyoung felt more loved by them than he ever had by his parents. bambam was filming the best parts and said he was going to make a beautiful wedding video for them, which they didn’t doubt knowing his skills. the couple had their first dance with their foreheads against eachother and held eachother close as they swayed side to side. it felt a bit weird with everything watching, but it also felt so good to hold eachother for the first time as husbands. jinyoung’s favorite part was when they opened their wedding gifts. one of mark’s sisters got them a book on what to do when you’re pregnant, which was hilarious. and of course jackson’s dumbass got them a bondage set that mark opened right in front of his parents. he sighed and told jackson that he was dead meat, but he did make sure to take the gift home for another time. they cut the cake that was decorated with pretty black patterns and it tasted amazing, but it tasted even better when mark stuffed some in his face and he kissed him to get marks face dirty too. they kissed about 100 more times before the end of the night. when they left, instead of going to some hotel, they drove the whole 45 minutes to jinyoung’s apartment. the whole ride, they listened to their playlist that they had made together years ago. they were both over the moon. and when they finally got home, it didn’t take long before they were naked in their bed, the same bed that jinyoung and mark cuddled in that first night they had spent together. 

“hold on,” mark said, scooting out from underneath jinyoung. he ran out of the room before returning with the bondage kit jackson had given them. 

“mark we just got married for gods sake,” mark laughed and put it away before kissing jinyoung again, and jinyoung held onto his hips tight, like if he let go mark would float away. 

“you’re so beautiful baby boy,” jinyoung said as he started kissing along his jawline, “my beautiful husband. all mine.”

“all yours.”

“i love you.”

“i love you too.”

 

when jinyoung was 24, he fell in love for the first time. 

when jinyoung was 27, he fell in love all over again.


End file.
